I Thought It Was Love. The Police Thought Otherwise.

Remember Moji's situationship saga? Three men, zero labels, the police encounter, and the homegirls who saw it all coming. This story aged like fine wine.

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Hello, I’m Nabeelah, kindly introduce yourself and what you do.

Hi, I’m Mojisola, a social media marketer and small business owner.

What does the situationship partner do?

He is a forex and crypto trader and an investor too because he invests in multiple companies.

Nice. How did you and your situationship first meet, and what initially attracted you to each other? Or was there no attraction involved?

We met at a party. I made eye contact with him, and that was it, lol.

About the attraction—on my part, I’d say his hair and how carefree he was that night, just having fun. On his part, I don’t know what it was. 😂 He probably saw a girl showing interest in him. There was certainly a spark on my end. I thought it was love at first sight, but then I was going through a nasty heartbreak, needed to get over it, and he was the first guy I was attracted to.

Ohhh, nice. So was it a "using him to get over the heartbreak" phase, or were you guys committed?

It started as "using him to get over the heartbreak," then I think I mistakenly transferred the love I had for my ex to him because idek how I fell in love with him.

Tears. Was the feeling mutual or just one-sided?

If you ask me, I’d say it was one-sided. If you ask him, he’d say it was mutual, which is a blatant lie.

So yeah, it’s one-sided.

Why would you say this? What made you feel like it was a one-sided thing?

Not to be vain, but I measure love by material things. If you can buy me stuff, I’d conclude you really like me because that’s what I do when I like someone—I buy them stuff even when it’s not convenient for me.

This boy got me 6 Domino’s cupcakes and a small ice cream on my birthday. We’d been seeing each other for 5 months at that point, and I felt I deserved more. He stressed me a lot, and my homegirls didn’t like him. They thought I deserved better, which was true because my ex treated me better than he did. Hell, my girls treat me better than that.

Fair. Especially if it’s someone who can afford it.

Oh yes, he could. But then again, he got me a really nice Christmas gift. It’s something that showed he listens to me when I’m just yapping. So you see how confusing it is. He was breadcrumbing me—just giving me enough to reel me back in when it seemed I’m getting over it but not enough to solidify what he feels.

Would you like us to describe this as a situationship or an entanglement?

Oh, definitely a situationship.

How did this arrangement between you initially start?

He got my contact that night, and we started talking. We went out, then we just started seeing each other—no labels.

Did you like that? The no-label thingy?

Oh yes, it was what I needed then. My ex was already with someone else, and it felt like I was still hung up on him.

Then I found out they were acquaintances. Tears in my eyes. My love life is so messy, lmao.

Speaking of messy dynamics, let's rewind a bit to your relationship with your ex. So, the situationship and your ex are acquainted? How did you find out? Did both of them know this too?

I was just as surprised too.

I was having a conversation with my ex, and he told me they worked together on a project. Welp. And yeah, both of them know, lmao. I started seeing my ex again at some point.

All three of us even end up at the same event sometimes. It happened this month too.

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[Mid-story break]

Wait, before we continue with Moji's chaos, quick announcement: We've got $100 to give away at the end of this newsletter. Keep reading to find out how to get your share. Now, back to the drama...

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How was this? How did you feel about this? Have you guys considered a polyamory kind of arrangement?

I don’t know how they feel seeing each other, but me, I don’t mind. It’s not like I’m in a committed relationship with either of them. I’d go for it if the three of them can agree :). What a mess, but I love it!

But my current partner hates the remaining two. The situationship guy hates my partner, and my ex is just there… happy to ride along, lmao.

Lmaooo, I’m confused. Just to clarify, are you and this situationship still together?

I wouldn’t say we are still together. I’ve been telling him off and asking him to let me be since last year. The love has cleared from my eyes. 😮‍💨

Lmaooo, but are you guys still seeing each other?

Well, well, don’t judge me. 😅 I wouldn’t say no, and I wouldn’t say yes. He is just there.

Oh, this is a no judge zone. So, are you currently in any love relationship aside from him?

Yeah, my current partner. Although I’m confused if I still love him or not. We are working through it.

So we are talking about three men here, right? The situationship, ex, and the current one? I want to be like you.

I don’t want to be me sometimes.

About your ex, did you break up with him, or he broke up with you?

I broke up with him without proper communication (a very silly thing, I know). Then I realized it was too painful and wanted to get back together, but he said no (good for me). He was already dating someone else. Since then, I don’t initiate breakups unless I am very sure I want to.

Rewinding, I thought you said you got back together again. 😭

No, not at all. I didn’t agree either. 😂 We didn’t get back together, lol. We were just seeing each other occasionally (once in a while).

Seeing each other once in a while… hmm. So he was seeing someone then too?

Yeah.

If the girl comes, I cannot fight please.

Well, everyone he was involved with after that hated me. I am a constant in his life. I know how it feels to know your partner has that ex he can’t seem to let go of/has a hold over him.

When you say your love has "cleared from your eyes" for the situationship partner, what specifically changed in your feelings?

His behavior. I became wiser and realized I deserved more than just crumbs. That’s why I don’t push when someone starts acting foolish in a situationship. They’ll come to their senses eventually, lol. Until then, there’s nothing you can do.

Also, you mentioned your homegirls (I love the sound of that, by the way) thought you deserved better. What does "better" look like to you in a relationship?

Thank youuu for that question!!

Someone who consistently chooses me, genuinely cares about me, and takes into account how their actions affect me. Someone who also spoils me with thoughtful gifts—not necessarily expensive, but something that says, 'I thought about you.' I love meaningful gestures; they show that I’m always on their mind.

How do you maintain your emotional well-being in these fluid relationship structures? Tell me you have a therapist.

Ah. I know what I want, so it’s easier for me not to lose sight of why they are there. It can be emotionally draining, can’t lie, but it’s also great because if one is stressing me, I can just turn my attention to the other.

I don’t have a therapist. I’d lose my steeze if I have one, lmaooo. I’d say my girls are my therapist. I talk to them and keep them entertained about all my issues.

Dealing with a man is not easy. Now imagine dealing with three. 😭

That’s why you don’t deal with them full-time. 😂 Keep them at different levels and only bring them out of the closet when you need them. You need to be mindful of why they are there.

Back to the situationship, aside from the intimate moment, how has this relationship been beneficial to you?

I was in love, so "beneficial" wasn’t really my priority.

Now that I’m out of it, it wasn’t beneficial at all. He tells me he loves me too but doesn’t show me.

Do you have any funny or memorable moments you’ve shared together?

We had fun. We had chemistry.

What’s the most random place or situation you’ve found yourself in together?

Probably when the police arrested us on the way to a party. They took us to their station, asked what our relationship was, and he said I was "a girl from his school." 🥲

Wait, tell me you fought him.

Nope! We were in a no-label relationship, so it was cool. My friends said I should have, but I didn’t really care then. Looking back at it now, that was quite crazy. 😭

Do you have any regrets about how things have unfolded?

I don't have regrets. Not about this, or about anything.

Lastly, Is there any other thing that you would like to share?

Oh no 😂😂 but if he sees this and know he is the one, Leave me alone this year and forget about me by fire!!!!

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